Final Farewell
by FairyNiamh
Summary: Jim says his final Farewells to the crew of the Enterprise.


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Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek in any way shape or form and make nothing from this.  
A/N: A Special Thanks to drivven who beta'd. Written in response to a challenge over at the st_xi_kink_meme.

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Spock stood before the assembled crew trying his hardest to keep from breaking during Jim's eulogy. Yes, Jim was his first and best friend... but showing the remorse that was eating him up inside would be detrimental to crew moral. Now more than ever he needed to be strong for them.

Still it didn't feel real to him. The thought that the Captain... that Jim could just... disappear... die one day was just not comprehensible. He had typed his report and submitted it to Starfleet in a haze, so that the world... no the many worlds could mourn their hero... and now as his last duty to his captain and friend he had been chosen to read the man's last words.

It just didn't seem right in his mind to hold this memorial service without a body present. For once he agreed with McCoy; the world just didn't seem right without Jim. The man had just made everything, including his own logic, seem right.

He, unnecessarily perhaps, cleared his throat and opened the Captain's file labeled 'Do Not Cry'. He hoped that he would manage to hold it together and that Jim had not been too emotional in his writings.

_"Hello my most excellent crew. If Spock is reading this then that can only mean that I have finally found myself in a no win situation and have moved on to my next great adventure. I wish I could tell you all not to cry... sadly it's only human to mourn... even for Vulcan's, . Well, I guess I should leave notes to everyone I can think about._

Nyota. I've always wanted to call you that without being hit. You were the one I could always hit on. You knew that it wasn't serious... even if you did pinch me when I went to far. I just couldn't help myself. You are the ships most beautiful woman... and when your cheeks are dusted with pink from your blush you are even more beautiful. You were also the one I felt I could go to when Gaila died. You let me cry with you and mourn at her marker with. You assured me that Gaila went out the way she had wanted to and held no malice for me. You are the fleets best at xenolinguistics and the only communications officer I could ever want. So Thank You for choosing to give me a second chance to prove myself as a man and captain and for being my friend. I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors."

Spock halted and looked up when he heard her let out a choked sob. He couldn't understand what part of that statement had choked her up. It had not been overly emotional as he had feared it would be. He mentally filed away her reaction to study at a later date before continuing.

_"Pavel, so young and full of life. You were the little brother I never had. I could teach you things and give you advice. Some of it might not have been the best advice... but you never held that against me. You never got mad at me when I would ruffle your hair and smile... you would just smile back up at me with your trusting eyes. I'm sorry I can't help you anymore мu1083 аu1076 шu1080 йбu1088 аu1090 . Trust in Hikaru more and don't become jaded by the things you are yet to see and experience. You made it through the Narada incident and helped save the Earth... if you could survive that with your innocence in tact, you can survive anything. You are a wonderful navigator, security/tactical officer... don't let anyone tell you any different. Goodbye Pavel... I am sure I will miss you."_

Spock did not pause when he heard the Russian break down. Yes, this break down he could understand. Jim had been much more emotional and they had shared what they viewed as a familial bond.

_"Hikaru. Hey man... next time someone asks if you have advanced hand to hand combat skills... say no. Fencing is not hand to hand combat! I've wanted to tell you that ever since we went to jump onto that cursed platform. Still, it is a pretty awesome skill... and it was a wild adventure. I can think of no one I would have rather shared that experience with. I can think of no one that I would rather have as helmsman than you. I could trust you to help us get out of any mess we found ourselves in. Thank you for teaching me fencing and keeping me away from dangerous plants when we went planet side. Please take care of Pavel for me... I think he will need you more right now than he ever has. I am trusting you with my little brother and giving you my blessing in your relationship. I warn you however... if you ever hurt him Uhura will beat you up for me. Take care my tomodachi."_

A watery laugh and an even more watery 'Damned right' was heard before he continued.

_"Scotty... Engineer Miracle worker... and his side kick Keenser. I remember when we met and you chewed me out for being late... I was so confused! Still the skills you possess and the miracles you pull out of thin air have always amazed me. You truly are a man born before his time... I wish I could see what you will do next. I shall miss your playful banter. What I am about to say I do not regret as I can think of no one else who would do as well as you.. I am trusting My Lady to you Scotty... don't let me down."_

A soft 'Aye Captain' acknowledged Captain Kirk's final order to the Engineer.

_"Ambassador Salek... if you are still alive and if my orders are being followed I am sure you are able to hear this. You have been my most trusted adviser. There was nothing that I couldn't ask you. You might not have answered the way I wanted to hear at the time... but I understand the reasons why. I am... sorry that you are experiencing this loss twice in your lifetime. Believe me when I say I did not wish to put you through this pain again. You have always been and shall always be... my friend. Live Long and Prosper."_

A whispered strained 'Jim' was heard and Spock wondered at the relationship shared between the two.

_"Admiral Pike, Thank you for taking the time to look me up and dare me to better myself. I shudder to think of what would have happened if you hadn't. Not just because I saved the Earth... but because I was swiftly becoming someone I didn't want to be. You however saw past the shadow of George Kirk and allowed me to shine on my own. I hope I have not disappointed you too badly. You are the father I have never known. Be good to yourself and don't take any crap off of those other stuffed shirts around you."_

'I could never be disappointed in you son.' Could barely be heard from Pike as his segment ended.

_"Bones... damn this is hard. You always take deaths hard. I guess that is the doctor in you. I do not know how I will meet my end... but do not blame yourself... I am sure that there was nothing you could have done. I can think of no better Chief Medical Officer in Starfleet. You were my first real friend and held the position of Best Friend without too much gripe or grumble. Thank you for all the times you patched me up when I was an idiot and always allowing me a place to crash when everything got to be too much. You've been through so much already and I never wanted to hurt you... it's just not fair. Even though it's not fair... I have to ask you to live. Don't drown yourself in a drink. There is still so much good you can do... so many medical discoveries you have yet to make. Plus you have to think of Joanna. Tell her that Uncle Jim loves her very much and wishes that he could have been there to see what a beautiful lady she is sure to become. Leonard... ha... you thought I would never use your name didn't you? Leonard... take care of yourself and think of me from time to time. I will sorely miss you."_

A not so soft 'Damn it Jim' was heard before a sobbing McCoy went to his knees.

_"Mr. Spock..."_ he started then cleared his throat and started again, _"Mr. Spock. There truly is no better first officer to be found anywhere in the universe. We had a rough start... but as we got to know one another things smoothed out and you were able to anticipate my orders... even the illogical ones. This is the hardest one yet.. and I wish I could do it in person. In several old movies I've watched, people would ask... 'If you were to die tomorrow what would be the one thing you regret not doing?' Well my biggest regret is never gathering enough courage to tell you that I've fallen in love with you. I saw you as a friend, a brother, and a potential lover. Salek informed me that the word I was searching for was T'hy'la. From what he described it to mean, it truly is the perfect word. You completed me in a way I never thought possible. It scared the hell out of me, while giving me the greatest joy. I won't be a sap and say it was love at first sight. That would just be a bald faced lie. I loathed you when you brought up charges against me, but as I got to know you better I started to respect you and that respect somehow blossomed into the love that I now feel. I hope that you at least saw me as the friend I tried to be. Live Long and Prosper T'hy'la... I will miss you most of all."_

Thank you all for being the best crew that a captain could ever hope to have. Farewell and; Dismissed."

Spock closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wasn't ashamed of the tears now streaking his face. It was logical... they were tears shed for a future that he would now never know.

~Fin~


End file.
